i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
