I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
