So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We talked him into tasing himself.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
