I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
