Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
