Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
