HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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