it's too hot outside to masturbate.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Alive.
So much puke
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
