Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
