My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
