on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
