perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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