so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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