I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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