were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
