I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize