First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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