I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
