I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
