she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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