is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
nutella sex= disaster
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
