He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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