One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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