what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
