Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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