She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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