I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
