i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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