i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
