you would pick up someone in the library
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize