Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
