omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
