the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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