Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
