as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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