I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
