you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
