omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize