All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
