So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
