I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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