I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize