For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
