She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
