Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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