I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
