he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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