Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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