omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
