Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize