I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize