he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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