To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
