the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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