Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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