When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
