Fine. I'll sleep in my office
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
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