I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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