Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
