Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Couch. On fire.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
