okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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