She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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