No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
