; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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