So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
