we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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