I wish I could teleport
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Randomize
