feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
