The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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