we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
