i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
