Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
