She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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